Leading from the InsideOut: How Self-Awareness and Humility Build Influence

What if the greatest leadership breakthrough you need isn’t a new strategy—but a deeper understanding of yourself?

In this powerful episode of Servant Leaders Blueprint, Coach Larry pulls back the curtain on what it really takes to lead with lasting influence—from the inside out. Based on Chapter 2 of John C. Maxwell’s High Road Leadership, we explore why self-awareness and humility aren’t soft skills—they’re survival skills in today’s divided world.

Through real-world stories—from Starbucks' Howard Schultz to Ford's Alan Mulally to Germany’s Angela Merkel—and rooted in the servant leadership of Jesus, this episode will challenge you to:

✅ Stop leading from image and start leading from identity
 ✅ Choose humility over ego in real-time leadership decisions
 ✅ Listen in a way that builds trust and transforms culture
 ✅ Lead with authenticity, vulnerability, and spiritual integrity

Whether you’ve been in leadership for decades or you’re just starting your journey, this episode is your heart-check and your roadmap. You don’t need a bigger platform—you need a deeper presence.

🔊 Tune in now and discover what it means to lead like Jesus when no one’s watching—and how that quiet integrity can reshape everything.

Transcript

Leading from the Inside Out: How Self-Awareness and Humility Build Influence

🎧 Episode Duration: 30–40 minutes
 🎯 Objective: To show how humility and self-awareness equip servant leaders to build bridges and lead with authentic influence.

Introduction: 

Welcome back, friends, to another episode of Servant Leaders Blueprint—the podcast where we explore what it means to lead like Jesus in today’s divided, fast-moving, and sometimes disoriented world.

In this episode, we’re diving into Chapter 2: Self-Awareness and Humility—and I’ll tell you right now, this chapter cuts deep in the best way. It’s the heart check every servant leader needs.

But before we jump in, let me ask:

• Have you ever been in a room full of leaders and felt like you had to pretend to be more than you were?
• Or worse—have you followed someone who couldn’t admit a mistake?

Yeah, me too. And John Maxwell’s words in this chapter hit home.

Let’s unpack what it means to lead from the inside out—with humility and self-awareness as your foundation.

Today, we’re going to explore how humility and self-awareness make you a bridge-builder in a culture that’s constantly pulling people apart.

Let’s go.

Segment 1: The Power of Self-Awareness

Let’s start with this foundational truth from John Maxwell:

“You cannot lead others well if you don’t know who you are.”

·       Now, I want you to really think about that.
 Leadership doesn’t start with a mission statement.
 It doesn’t start with goals, strategies, or even followers.
 It starts with the person in the mirror.

Because the reality is—if you don’t understand what drives you, you’ll be driven by things that destroy you: your fears, your ego, your past wounds, your need for approval.

That’s why self-awareness is the gateway to transformation.

Maxwell shares a powerful example of this in the life of Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks. Howard grew up in Brooklyn, in public housing. His father worked a blue-collar job and struggled to support the family. One day, his father was injured on the job, and because there was no health coverage, the family was devastated financially.

That experience shaped Howard’s entire leadership philosophy.
He didn’t forget where he came from. He didn’t try to be someone he wasn’t. He brought that story with him into the boardroom.

So, when he led Starbucks, he didn’t just focus on profits—he focused on people. He made healthcare available to part-time baristas. Why? Because he remembered what it was like when his own family didn’t have it.

That’s the power of a self-aware leader. They lead from their story, not from their status.

Let me ask you a tough question:
 Have you identified the moments that shaped your leadership values?

You see, too many leaders don’t stop to ask, “Why do I lead the way I do?”
They run teams, run meetings, run companies—but never stop to run a self-check.

When you lead without self-awareness, your decisions are reactive instead of reflective.
 You respond from insecurity instead of integrity.

Let me tell you from my own experience—after five decades in leadership—when I was unaware of my emotional triggers, I’d overcompensate by trying to control outcomes or people. But when I began doing the deep work of understanding me, I started leading others with a lot more grace and clarity.

Here’s what self-aware leaders do differently:

• They ask more questions than they give commands.
• They acknowledge weaknesses instead of hiding them.
• And they know what they value—so they don’t chase what the world values.

Maxwell says that without self-awareness; your leadership will eventually hit a ceiling—and you won’t even realize what’s stopping you. You’ll blame others, circumstances, the economy—but the truth is, the problem’s internal, not external.

That’s why I tell every leader I coach:
 You must grow inwardly before you can grow outwardly.

🛠 Leadership Self-Awareness Check-In:
I want to challenge you this week to sit down—just you, a notebook, and maybe your Bible—and answer these five questions:

1. What experience from my past is still influencing my leadership—for better or worse?
2. What feedback have I received lately that I brushed off too quickly?
3. When do I feel most insecure as a leader—and how do I typically react?
4. What are three core values I refuse to compromise on?
5. How does my leadership make others feel?

These aren’t soft questions. They’re soul questions.
 Because here’s the truth: you can’t lead people to a place you haven’t been yourself.

Segment 2: Humility Isn’t Weakness—It’s Leadership Strength Under Control

Let’s talk about a leadership quality that gets misunderstood all the time—humility.

Now, in a world that celebrates platform, personality, and power, humility doesn’t always make the headlines. But in High Road Leadership, John Maxwell flips the script on what true strength looks like.

He writes:

“Humble leaders don’t need to pretend to be perfect, because their confidence comes from their character—not their image.”

That’s profound—and I want you to hear that again:
 Confidence rooted in character, not image.

See, we often mistake pride for power and quietness for weakness. But humility is not thinking less of yourself—it’s thinking of yourself less.

Let me bring in a story from the book that really struck me:
 Maxwell talks about Alan Mulally, the man who rescued Ford Motor Company from the brink of collapse.

When Mulally took over as CEO in 2006, Ford was bleeding billions. The culture was toxic; executives were hiding bad news, everyone was protecting turf, and the brand was crumbling.

Mulally calls his first executive meeting. He asks everyone to report on their division’s status using color codes—green for good, yellow for concerns, red for serious problems.
 Every single leader reported green.

Now, remember: the company was in a crisis! Billions in losses—and somehow, everything was "green"?

Mulally calmly says, “You can’t manage a secret.”
And he doesn’t explode, criticize, or shame anyone. He simply invites truth into the room.

The next week, one brave executive reported red.
Do you know what Mulally did?

He clapped. Literally clapped and said, “Great visibility!”
He celebrated honesty. He made humility safe.

That was a turning point.
 Because when leaders stop pretending, organizations start healing.

Let me pause here and ask you—when was the last time you celebrated someone for admitting a mistake?
Better yet—when was the last time you admitted one in front of your team?

We need to normalize humility in leadership—not just in language, but in behavior.

📖 Scripture Reflection:
James 4:10 says,

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Notice that humility isn’t something that happens to you—it’s something you choose.
And when you choose it, God honors it.

Even Jesus—our perfect model—emptied Himself and took the form of a servant (Philippians 2). That’s not just a theological point—it’s a leadership model.

🛠 Leadership Habit to Build Humility:

Here are 3 simple practices to cultivate humility this week:

1. Say “I don’t know” at least once—in front of your team, your family, or your peers.
   That three-word phrase does more to build trust than any long-winded speech.
2. Give credit away. Find someone who contributed to a win and celebrate them publicly.
3. Ask for help. This one is tough, especially for leaders. But it’s transformational.

Let me share something personal.
 Early in my leadership career, I believed I had to have all the answers. I thought asking for help would make me look weak. But that mindset kept me isolated—and tired.
 Once I realized that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom, my leadership became lighter and more collaborative. My team felt empowered. I felt free.

Friend, here’s the truth:
 Ego exhausts your team.
 Humility energizes them.

It’s time to stop leading from your title—and start leading from your testimony.

Because your humility isn’t just about you—it sets the temperature for your entire organization.

So let’s commit to this: be the kind of leader who doesn’t need to win every argument or be the smartest in the room.
Be the kind of leader who listens, learns, and lifts others up.

That’s the kind of leader this world is desperate for.
 That’s the kind of leader the Kingdom calls for.
 And that’s what it means to take the high road.

Segment 3: Authenticity Over Image

Let’s keep going, servant leaders. In Segment 1, we laid the foundation of self-awareness. In Segment 2, we explored the transforming power of humility.

Now it’s time to connect those two ideas with something that our world is desperately hungry for in leadership—authenticity.

John Maxwell writes in this chapter:

“Authenticity is the alignment of your head, heart, and habits.”

Let me break that down:

• Your head—what you believe.
• Your heart—what you care about.
• Your habits—what you actually do.

When those three things are in alignment, people feel it.
They may not be able to articulate it, but they know when they’re being led by someone real—and they know when they’re being sold a leadership performance.

Maxwell contrasts two types of leaders: those who lead to impress, and those who lead to impact. And the difference? It's not talent or education. It’s authenticity.

Maxwell tells the story of a young, high-potential leader at one of his conferences. On paper, she was everything a company could want—sharp, ambitious, driven. But something wasn’t quite clicking with her team. Turnover was high, morale was low, and she couldn’t figure out why.

Eventually, in a one-on-one coaching conversation, the truth came out. She admitted,

“I feel like I have to pretend I have it all together. I’m scared if they see me struggle, they won’t respect me.”

Sound familiar?

That’s what I call “image management leadership.” You start performing. You become a character, not a leader. You wear the mask so long that even you forget who’s underneath it.

And here’s the danger—when you lead from a place of image instead of identity, your influence is always conditional.
It depends on how well you maintain the act.

Let me be real with you:
 I’ve been in that trap myself. Early in my career, I thought the title was the thing that made people follow. So I worked hard to “look the part.” But over time, I realized people weren’t connecting with my position—they were connecting with my presence. With my willingness to be real.

👩‍💼 Real-World Example: Angela Merkel’s Quiet Strength

John Maxwell contrasts that young leader with someone like Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany.

Now, Merkel was not flashy. She didn’t dominate news cycles with charisma or fiery speeches. But she led for over 15 years through crisis after crisis—economic turmoil, refugee resettlement, a global pandemic—with steady, authentic presence.

One of the most profound things Merkel did during the 2015 refugee crisis was admit what she didn’t know. She openly said, “We will make mistakes. But we must try to do the right thing.”

That kind of vulnerability didn’t weaken her leadership—it deepened trust.

Maxwell lifts her up as a model of high-road authenticity. She led not to impress the world, but to serve the people.

And isn’t that exactly what servant leadership is all about?

So, how do we move from performance to presence? From image to authenticity?

Here are three practical steps Maxwell hints at in this chapter—and I want to expand on them for your leadership walk this week:

1. Tell the truth about yourself before someone else has to.
   If there’s a mistake you made, own it. You gain more respect by admitting a fault than by hiding it.
2. Practice small acts of transparency.
   Share something vulnerable in your next meeting. Say, “This is an area I’m still growing in.” You’ll be shocked at how quickly others open up too.
3. Check your motives.
   Before you make a decision, ask yourself:
   Am I doing this to impress people—or to impact people?
   It’s a question I come back to all the time in my own leadership.

✝️ Spiritual Reflection: The Leadership of Jesus

 Let’s bring it back to the ultimate model of servant leadership—Jesus Christ.

Jesus didn’t come with pomp and show. He didn’t lead from image. He didn’t seek status. In fact, Isaiah said “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him.”

But Jesus led from the depths of identity. At His baptism, before He performed a single miracle or preached a single sermon, God affirmed Him: “This is My beloved Son.”
That’s identity.

And then what did Jesus do?
 He washed feet. He wept at gravesides. He asked questions.
 He let Himself be misunderstood—because He wasn’t living for image, but for mission.

And if Jesus—the Son of God—could lead with that kind of authenticity, how can we settle for performing?

🛠 Leadership Journaling Prompt:

Take 10 minutes this week to reflect on this question:
 “Where am I performing in my leadership instead of being present?”
Write it out. Pray about it. Talk to a mentor. And then—take one bold step to show up real.

Remember—your credibility doesn’t come from having it all together.
It comes from your willingness to be transparent, teachable, and trustworthy.

Don’t lead from a script. Lead from your soul.
 Don’t try to impress. Just show up and serve.

Because the world doesn’t need another polished leader.
 It needs you—fully present, fully grounded, and fully real.

Segment 4: Listening is an Act of Humility

Let’s move into a leadership skill that may not look as dramatic as giving a great speech or making a bold decision, but it’s absolutely foundational to servant leadership—and that’s listening.

John Maxwell writes something in Chapter 2 that really stuck with me:

“If you don’t listen to them, you’re shrinking your influence and limiting your impact.”

Let that sit for a second.
 Because most leaders—especially early in their journey—think leadership is about talking, directing, or instructing. But according to Maxwell, the high-road leader sees listening not as a passive skill, but as an act of intentional humility.

🧍‍♂️ Real-World Example: Sam Walton's Listening Culture

One of the examples John gives in this chapter is about Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart. Now, Walton was a billionaire and one of the most influential business leaders of the 20th century. But he had a habit that shocked people—he would regularly visit Walmart stores without an entourage, without a script, and just listen.

He talked to stockers, greeters, clerks, and customers. He asked them what they needed. What was frustrating them. What ideas they had.

One time, an associate suggested moving high-demand, easily forgotten items—like batteries—closer to the front entrance. Sam didn’t just nod. He tested the idea, and sure enough, it worked. It drove up impulse sales across locations.

But here’s the key: that kind of insight doesn’t come from spreadsheets. It comes from ears open and ego down.

Walton led one of the largest corporations in the world, yet he listened like he was the newest hire.
 That’s high-road leadership. That’s humility in action.

🔁 Real-World Contrast: When Leaders Don’t Listen

Now let me contrast that with another real-world example Maxwell briefly touches on.

He recounts a senior executive who ran meetings like a monologue. He made decisions before ever hearing his team’s insights. Over time, innovation dried up. People disengaged. And turnover skyrocketed. Why?
 Because nobody wants to invest in a vision, they didn’t have a voice in.

When you don’t listen, people stop speaking up. When they stop speaking up, they stop caring.
And when they stop caring—you stop leading.

  Let’s bring in a familiar verse from the Word for a moment.
 James 1:19 says:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

Now that’s the opposite of most leadership environments today, isn’t it?
In meetings, we often rush to respond. In conflict, we’re quick to defend. But Scripture flips that: listen first, speak slowly, and restrain anger.

That’s not just a communication model—it’s a spiritual discipline.

Jesus Himself modeled this constantly. He asked questions far more than He gave lectures.

• “What do you want Me to do for you?”
• “Who do you say that I am?”
• “Why are you afraid?”

He didn’t assume. He didn’t override.
 He created space for people to be heard—and then He met them with grace and truth.

If the Son of God led through listening, how much more should we?

🛠 Practical Leadership Tools: Becoming a Listening Leader

So how do we practice this in real time?

Here are three tools I give the leaders I coach:

1. Ask More, Tell Less

In your next meeting, set a goal to ask three thoughtful questions before giving your opinion.
Try:

• “What are we missing?”
• “What’s one concern you’re not saying out loud?”
• “What does success look like for you in this situation?”

2. Listen to Understand, Not to Reply

Most leaders are formulating their response while someone else is still talking.
 Here’s the shift: instead of trying to win the conversation, try to understand the person.
Listen like you're mining for gold, not scanning for flaws.

3. Close the Feedback Loop

When someone shares an idea or concern, follow up.
 Even if you can’t implement their suggestion, circle back and say,
 “I heard what you said—and here’s how I’m processing it.”
That builds trust. That builds respect.

🧠 Coaching Reflection:

Let me ask you a hard question, Leader:

When was the last time you learned something valuable just by listening?
Not in a book, not in a podcast—but in a one-on-one conversation, or a team meeting?

I’ll be honest—some of the best breakthroughs in my own leadership didn’t come from me teaching someone else. They came from me finally being quiet long enough to hear God speak through someone I was leading.

Listening is the front porch of trust.
When people feel heard, they start to heal.
When people feel valued, they start to rise.

And that’s the high road. It’s not loud. It’s not flashy.
 But it’s faithful.

Segment 5: A Challenge for This Week

Alright servant leaders, we’ve walked through a lot in this episode:

• We talked about the power of self-awareness—knowing yourself so you can grow yourself.
• We looked at humility as leadership strength under control—not weakness.
• We explored how authenticity beats image every time—how people follow presence, not perfection.
• And we just unpacked how listening is one of the most powerful acts of leadership humility.

So now, it’s time to bring it all together into something you can live out this week—because High Road Leadership is not just something you think about. It’s something you practice, day by day, step by step.

As John Maxwell often says:

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.”

Let me give you three challenges—simple, practical, but transformative if you commit to them.

✅ 1. Ask for Honest Feedback

This week, I want you to go to someone on your team—or even someone in your family—and ask:

“Is there anything I’m doing that makes your job—or your life—harder?”

Now listen—I know that can feel risky. Vulnerable. Even scary.
 But that’s what humility looks like in practice. It’s giving someone permission to speak into your blind spots.

John tells a story in this chapter about a pastor who regularly asked his staff two questions:

1. “What am I doing that’s helping you?”
2. “What am I doing that’s hurting you?”

And because he asked it consistently—and received their answers with grace—it created a culture of trust and honesty. People didn’t just respect him—they loved working with him.

🛠 Tip: When someone gives you feedback—don’t interrupt. Don’t justify. Just say, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

✅ 2. Name Where Pride Is Holding You Back

Take 15 minutes in prayer or journaling and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal this:

“Where is pride showing up in my leadership?”

It might be:

• Not asking for help
• Resisting correction
• Avoiding conversations where you might be wrong
• Needing credit or control

When pride hides, your leadership suffers silently.
 But when you bring it to light—when you name it—you can start to replace it with grace.

📖 Proverbs 16:18 reminds us,

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

So let’s choose humility before humiliation.

🛐 Spiritual Practice: Write down one area where pride is creeping in. Then surrender it in prayer and ask God to reshape that space with humility.

✅ 3. Model Humility in Front of Others

Find a moment this week to visibly demonstrate humility in a leadership setting.

Maybe that looks like:

• Saying “I was wrong” in a staff meeting.
• Giving someone else credit for a big win.
• Publicly thanking someone for correcting you or helping you see something differently.
• Admitting you don’t have all the answers—and inviting collaboration.

You see, humility isn’t just internal. It’s visible. It’s contagious.
When others see you drop the mask, it gives them permission to do the same.

Maxwell says that leaders don’t just set direction—they set tone.

And when you model humility, vulnerability, and authenticity, you create a tone of trust, grace, and emotional safety.

And let me tell you—that’s the kind of culture that grows deep roots and lasting impact.

Let’s close this challenge with a question I often ask myself—and maybe it’ll help you too:

“Would Jesus recognize Himself in the way I’m leading today?”

He wouldn’t see performance.
 He wouldn’t see pride.
 He’d look for love. For grace. For humility. For truth wrapped in gentleness.

So this week, lead in such a way that Jesus would smile and say,

“Now that’s what servant leadership looks like.”

🎯 Challenge Recap:

Here’s your 3-part challenge for the week:

1. ✅ Ask someone, “What’s one way I can lead you better?”
2. ✅ Journal this: “Where is pride showing up in my leadership?”
3. ✅ Publicly model humility—in word, action, or offering an apology.

And don’t just do it once. Start building the habit.

Because servant leadership isn’t a title—it’s a daily testimony.

That’s it for today’s episode, friends.

If this message spoke to you, would you do two things for me? First—share this episode with another leader who’s hungry to grow. Let’s raise up a generation of high-road leaders who lead like Jesus. And second—leave a review on your podcast platform. That helps more servant-hearted leaders find this show and walk the same road with us.

Until next time—lead with courage, humility, and compassion, and always take the high road.